Bed Sheets Of Ice.

My beagle was wagging the tail rapidly when I invited her to come outside with me to shovel the driveway. I looked down towering over her and she looked back up at me waiting for me to open the door to the garage. I let her out and told her to "sit" which for some reason she associates with "stay". I really messed up on the training for this one, I admit. I pushed the garage door opening button and it slowly climbed the metal railings to rest over top. Silence. A cool breeze blew some powdered snow on the floor. My dog trotted out on the driveway with the nose to the ground. She was an eyesore with her brown fur on the white snow. Snow was everywhere. I went to the side of the garage and lift a shovel hanging from a protruding nail and went to the lip of the garage to push away a path from front to back vertically down the slope of the driveway.

My first push ended early and my arms got rattled by the shovel not moving. I guess I need a better shovel. I thought to myself. I put the plastic shovel back on it's nail and took a metal plow-like shovel to do the job. Nearly the same result. Under closer inspection I found that the entire driveway was a sheet of ice with powdered snow on top.

The scenery before me was so serene, like the sound of flicking a crystal glass with the index finger to create different notes. The cold air is rough on my breath but still enjoyable. I put my body weight into the shovel and place my boot on top of it and push it in short intervals to break up the ice and push it to the edge of the driveway. Careful, of course, not to slip on the ice by standing on one leg. I went to work on the sheet of ice using this method. On occasion I would have to call my dog back closer to me if she ventured too close to a neighbour's house or the road on the court. Eventually I was getting too hot doing all this work and put my leather jacket and dog back inside the house.

I zoned out as I methodically pushed the snow/ice to the sides of the driveway. My thoughts were consumed with daydreams and memories. Thinking of working for my University as a snow shoveler back a couple years in my second and third year. My hands would get so cold early in the morning. What a great feeling to see the sunrise after finishing the campus too. I remember walking across the bridge with the shovel on my back shoulders and arms resting on top. Looking out towards the sun creeping through the overcast clouds.

I stopped and looked up to the sky above, I knew full well there was nothing to see, but perhaps to live in the memory I still proceeded to crane my neck. I saw nothing, but the dull gray overcast that has simulated the sky.

A Door/Me/Then December.

I approached the windowed door to the outside. Slowly. My feet dragged along the floor in my slippers; by habit of course. I looked outside in the faintly lit scene that is my backyard. I could see my parent's barbecue, a snow shovel leaning against the yellow brick, a round table with benches surrounding it, pine trees and of course the sole bare cherry tree in the middle of the grassy lawn. I trace it's outline with my eyes and focus on the detail of the branches. A fractal pattern.

Whatever isn't lightly covered with snow - is a shadow - is an absence of the object it's suppose to be. As I stare into this wilderness I shiver and feel a tingling sensation more notable around my arms and shoulders. I love that feeling. I thought to myself. An obscure yet specific nervousness. Perhaps anxiety. Wondering if something will move in the darkness.

I lean up closer to the glassed window and looked around more. I remained still wondering what it would feel like to be outside at that moment. To be a part of the wilderness. My forehead against the glass, faint fog from my breath, I feel the shivers again. I looked to the sky; orange-gray overcast clouds. In the distance a street light.

Every time I turned around to go back upstairs I found myself turning around back to look out again. It's so calm and peaceful. Finally I rotated my head around once more to check every possible vision I could muster, and walked away from the glass windowed door.

music: "Possession" in Acoustic.

Means Headaches For Howard.

Kelly got me a few pillows from the couch and closet. I placed a couple on the floor, and my backpack where my head would go, and the sleeping pillow on that. I draped my leather coat on top of me and started to pass out. Kelly wanted to know if I wanted to get something from Subway. “You're going to Subway? It's like 4am man.” I slurred. Then again I remember living across the street from his place now and making 4am trips to Subway for cookies and such. I requested a bottle of juice. I knew I was going to need it in the morning.

I wasn't awake when he got back, and I slowly got back to consciousness around 09:00 hours. My eyes tried to open but at the risk of allowing light to enter too much I kept them squinted. My hair was in a mess because of the strange cowlick feeling. Almost like it is constantly being pulled by someone. I pat it down and get up from my bed. I nearly fall down again. Fuck, I'm still drunk. As I brace myself to walk around I desperately look around the kitchen for that juice Kelly got me. Only to find that it was later in the room on top of his bookshelf. It was warm to touch, but I didn't care. I started to drink it and swallowing large portions of the grape liquid. I finally stopped and gasped for air. A pounding sensation started on the right side of my head near the temple. Boom boom... boom boom. I went to lay back down on the bed and put the leather coat back over me. Getting up once in a while to lazily drink from the bottle again.

Kelly eventually gets up and goes on his computer while playing the latest download of the Howard Stern show from satellite radio. He talks to me, or to himself while we listen, laughing at a lot of the stuff that is going on. “Here take the bed man, I'm going to make pancakes.” He says. As he is walking out of the room I squint up to the freshly made bed and crawl over to lay on top of it bringing my pillow and leather jacket with me. I fall asleep again on top of the comforter. I'm not sure how much time progressed but I got up after hearing Kelly talk to his roommate outside in the kitchen. So I joined them and sat down at their table. I eat a pancake and drink some more juice and eventually I full wake up. The pounding headache remains and the only way to deal with it, is to forget that it is there, almost like how you forget to breath but do it anyways.

I leave Kelly's place because he has to do some studying and limp my way over to Robs house to watch Howard The Duck. He bought the movie over at Chumleighs for two dollars in VHS form. My toe is still hurting and now I have a cut on my finger from doing up the laces on my boots so much during last night (Saturday). When I arrive at his place all I can hear is the roar of the vacuum. Laura and Elsa were near done cleaning the place up busy throwing stuff out and cleaning the floors. Rob is laying on the brown couch outstretched with one foot on the floor and the other on the top, slouched with one elbow on the arm of the couch causing his arm to fail limply above his head, and the remote in the other. I request to the girls that they stop vacuuming because of my condition and Laura laughs it off. I sit down on the adjacent chair and slouch myself. When the girls stop the cleaning Rob goes upstairs and gets the movie, sets up the VCR in the back of the TV and starts to play it.

We don't really pay attention much to the movie though as we are both laughing and sharing stories from last night. The creepy dudes that came over wearing belly shirts, seeing Cedric on the street, how I visited my friend Api last night who was absolutely smashed, to agreeing about the beautiful porkchops we made last night. The girls come down and join in the conversation and starting to talk about some red headed guy that stayed around at the party who ended up to the be 25 years old.
“It was so creepy.” Laura said. Rob looked at her and agrees saying “Yeah 25 year old would accept an invitation to a 17 year olds party?”
I jab in saying sarcastically “Yeah what 24 year old WOULD come to a 17 year olds party.” Indicating myself. We all start to laugh and go back to watching Howard The Duck. I look out the window and see my dad dressed to the nine walking up to the door. I open it to greet him. His response was only a command: “Let's go.” I guess the party he went to sucked really bad because he was earlier than when I was expecting him. As a result I had to leave halfway through the movie. I said my goodbyes to everyone and thanked them for the invite. Adam tells me that I need to come by again sometime. “Yeah for sure.” I say with a pause, “I'll have to check my work schedule though.” Rob is expressionless at first but after a couple seconds he gets the joke about my unemployment and laughs. Adam remains expressionless.

So I leave Peterborough once again on a gloomy day in November. And like all my other car rides back to Oshawa, I drift off to sleep in the backseat of the car.

music to accompany the blog: Death Cab For Cutie - We Laugh Indoors.

Lemon Slices For José.

So Friday night I went out for a bit with Jordan for a little bar hoping in Oshawa, we checked out the Tartan and then Le Skratch. It was a fairly old crowd this time around at the Tartan which kind of sucked. That bar has a nice set up and design. Le Skratch was the same old thing with thugs looking out at the dance floor and slutty girls dancing around. Entering the place required the frisk down by the girls. Jordan got the hotter of the two and with both started to laugh about how they slightly tagged our nuts, and more so that the one girl rubbed my belly in a circular motion. "Next time ask her to pat you on the head." Jordan was quick to jab in.

The next morning I got up really early and painfully got CDs and DVDs ready for my trip to Peterborough. This time around I only packed a backpack full of stuff because whenever I went with a huge Nike duffel bag and sleeping bag, it was always taxing. Seeing that I am only staying one night I felt it is a wise decision. Change of clothes, small slip disc holder, busted PS2 controller, Polaroid camera, toothbrush and hair wax, and my minidisc walkman. I always bring my Polaroid camera everywhere I go for my blog; I know for a fact that I wouldn't be taking a picture in Peterborough though. For whatever reasons, it just never happens.

My brother drove me to the bus depot at around 11:40 hours so that I didn't have to worry about the bus schedules and disgruntled drivers just coming off a strike. The bus was scheduled to leave at 12:35 hours so I wandered around the downtown to waste some time. It was a bright day downtown but that October wind kicked in which made it dryly cold. I walked up Bond, took a side street to King, then to Centre and back to the Bus Terminal on Bond. It was pretty interesting because I took notice to a lot of downtown stores that I never seen before. An all Caribbean restaurant, a men's clothing store that had some sort of Italian name and even stranger was sort of orange reflective material in the window with faded pictures of men in suits, pedicure and hair salons with photos of models from the 80s, and sign for a new club at a spot where an old one use to be. I saw some familiar sites too like the Lovell drugs place across the King bus stop. I remember waiting for the 2King bus here while in high school and classmates I knew would go in and steal candy from the place. I remained in the bus terminal for the rest of the wait with my walkman playing. When the bus rolled up I go on and sat down and eventually fell asleep during the trip.

I wondered if I talked in my sleep because for some reason it felt like I was talking. I had my walkman playing so all I could hear was European power metal blaring away. Nobody was really starring at me though so I figure either I was in the clear or everyone else had walkmans on. I looked around some more and there was a little bit of both going on. I called Rob to let him know I'm in town and that I will be walking down the Rotary Trail to get to his place. "Alright lad, I'll meet ya along the way." He said over the phone. I got off the bus and started walking. I thought about getting a slice of pizza at Night Kitchen but thought it would be better to wait. The familiar sights make me smirk a bit and feel happy to be back in town. Rob meets me on the trail just before Parkhill Road and we hit up the G&P Milk Variety first. I didn't recognize him at first because he was wearing a different jacket than his usual brown leather one, and his hair was grown out a bit.

We then chilled for a bit in Rob's room as I wanted to show him the TV show "I Pity The Fool" starring Mr. T. We both have a fetish for brutal movies and brutal TV shows. This one really takes the cake though and we had some good laughs. Laura and Elsa kept darting in and out of the room preparing for the party tonight by putting everything valuable in Robs room. Laura is another classic Baragar with her style of humour. Yelling in my ear on occassion and do oddball things to try and get a reaction out of me. She seems to forget that I lived with Rob for 3 years and have become immune to the craziness. When Adam and Kristen arrive they see me and say hello. Adam reaches over and extends his hand for a hand shake saying "Hey guy, good to see you." I grab his hand shake it and when Adam starts to pull away it gets jerked back and I pull him towards the couch saying "No, give me a hug!" I reach my arm around try to choke him with a reverse headlock. We all start laughing as Adam keeps saying "No Matt... No!" and pulling away. They leave to pick up some alcohol at the LCBO for tonight and I slip Adam a 20 to pick me up some cider beer.

I watch some TV with Kristen as there is no more room in the car for me or her. She falls asleep pretty fast while laying down on the couch. When Adam returns to my surprise there are 6 tallboys of Magner's Cider Beer: the cider beer of cider beers. I know right away that this is going to be a great night. Adam looks at the tall 500ml cans and adds in “I prefer bottles, I don’t like that can taste.”
“Oh no way man, cans all the way, I can’t get drunk off cider beer unless it’s in can form.” I respond.
I get a slice of pizza at the local 2-4-1 and start the drinking with the rest of the house, minus Rob who had to do some personal business. I start to bug Elsa and Laura because no one has showed up to the party yet. "It's going to be so funny if no one shows up to your party." I say to them. They laugh and put on a pouting face and claim that it's not funny because it might be true and leave upstairs. My buddy Nick shows up with some of his homebrew in a backpack. It tastes a little different than his usual “honey beer” that he makes that is so damn good. We sit on the couches chatting for a bit and catching up. After having a bottle or two of his brew he has to go to another party.

Eventually three dudes show up with amps and instruments though. They pile it near the TV and then get acquainted with out names. We start watching SpikeTV which is showing "When Good Pets Go Bad" and we are all loving it. Rob eventually comes back and Tammy and Erica arrive as well with him. Halfway through the show five more people show up. Laura turns to me "See! I told you people would come!" We turn off the TV and the two guys set up their instruments. One has a mic and an acoustic guitar with an amp out, and the other has these bongo drums that have a long base to it so that it stands 5 feet off the ground. They play a bunch of covers from bands like Sublime, Weezer and even Destiny’s Child. They aren't really great, but at the same time it's kinda cool to have a live "band" going on while we're drinking.

I started talking to one girl when I am sitting on the arm of the couch. She's a pretty cute gal, but obviously only 18 so I put off the flirting a little. I think she came with some boyfriend or something, who was all over her at one point. He sits across and looks up once and a while. I lean over and talk right to her ear so she can hear me over the crowd. I leave the arm of the couch and get Adam, Rob and Kelly to do some tequila shots upstairs with me. As Rob and I prepare the lemons on the cutting board some young girl asks me what we are doing. "Oh just getting some lemon slices." I answer.
"Cool, I like lemons."
"Well then help yourself to some right there."
Rob and I start to walk upstairs and I peek over and she is standing by the kitchen with a slice of lemon in her hand and waves it too me. I wave back and then head upstairs to get the shots ready.

"To first year!" Rob says and laughs. It wouldn't make sense to anyone else but we all do cheers to first year. Kelly demands more shots and more afterwards. I filled up a glass Fruitopia bottle full of Jose Cuervo Gold, and it was all gone after 20 minutes of doing shot after shot. I get back down to the party and mingle a bit more with people and eventually everyone leaves for the bar. Rob, Tammy, Erica and I decide to leave as well for the 2nd Floor Lounge. We take the Rotary trail despite it being really out of the way for where we are heading. They stop on a house on the corner of Dublin and Alymer where some of Erica and Tammy’s friends live. They start messing around and Rob gives me some hilarious silent wording and I head out to the bar myself. Once I get to the entrance of the bar I immediately recognized the bouncer, but I don't know him that well. I waited outside and tried to think of who I could call to get in. I then think to call Adam who is probably already inside to get Kelly to get me in. Kelly comes down and motions me to come near as I start to enter the place the bouncer sticks out his hand and stops me. "Oh, you need to see ID?" I ask. "No, I can't let you in right now." I was so daftly confused about this and look at Kelly who shrugs. I stay in the doorway to chat with Kelly and he says that I can't get let in and to wait for a bit.

I turn around and see that Rob and Tammy are standing out in the street as well. Even though we got to say hi to Karem we still couldn't get in, so we decide to check out another bar. As we do we see Cedric, Scott and Mira across the street. "Ceddy balls!" Rob yells out as we run across the street. Cedric is really drunk right now and is in shock to see us. We walk with them to the bank and Cedric claims that he can get us in the bar. We walk back and he talks to the bouncer for a bit and comes back out to the side walk. "You can't get us in can you?" I say with a laugh. He does his usual Cedric chuckle and says he can't. "But you can get in right Ced?" He then starts to pretend he's popping his collar "Oh! Don't get me wrong" and chuckles some more. So Rob and I think that returning home is probably the best choice because we can just have some beers there.

We pick up a slice at Night Kitchen and start the walk back. Rob does his usual routine of asking for an outrageous slice of pizza that was created by the slaughter of a young animal. “I want to taste the innocence.” He says to the pizza guy. After finishing the slice down the street and exchanging bites with Tammy; I put the paper plate in the red mail box on Alymer Street like I usually do. It gives the mailman a present. When we arrived to the corner of Alymer and Macdonnell I realized that I couldn't walk anymore because of my sore toe. We called a cab for a ride back.

Back inside Rob’s place there was still some people partying, but apparently a lot of them left to catch the last bus back to the Gzowski residence. Minors... Rob's neighbours come over and we chat with them outside. Rob fires up the BBQ and slabs on some porkchops. He tells me to get some spices and the only thing I could find was some spicey mesquite. In our drunken state we keep lifting the lid of the BBQ violently, so much so that it comes off the hinges a couple of times. One of the neighbours, Gram, is slapping down the porkchops onto the grill with force. I decide to take over. Doing so I knocked over my beer that was sitting peacefully on the BBQ side. It tips over and begins to pour beer onto the concrete below, and eventually rolling off and falling down shattering. Well, no more beer for me. After the chops were done, as close as we could judge by the blackness, we put them on a plate, let them cool and grabbed them by hand to chomp on them. Probably the most delicious porkchops I have ever had in my life. Tammy actually takes a photograph of us with our meat in hand and beaming smiles.

After we finished I was invited over to play some SEGA Genesis with Gram and Adam next door. As I walk in they shout “Are you up for some Street Fighter II?” I of course confidently state that I’ll take anyone on. Gram is apparently the house champ at this game and schools me in the first couple games with Vega, as I played Ken. He’s pretty good, and claims that some people are only good with one character, so I switch up characters and actually start to win with Zengief. I even did the 360 move to his amazement to finish him off. I return to Ken and he uses Vega… and by sheer luck I figure out that pressing down and fierce punch counters his aero-move. He has no chance against me now and I clean out.

So satisfied with the old school gaming I retire back to Rob’s place which is winding down. Kelly eventually comes to pick me up though and I grab my backpack and head over to his place.

Part 2 Later.

music to accompany the blog: My Chemical Romance – The Sharpest Lives.

The City Swallowed Red.

There I am sitting at my parents table enjoying a glass of wine. They started talking about getting me a job as a janitor again at the place where my dad works. Just six months to a year they say, then I can apply to any job that gets offered, and they would have to consider me before going outside. I think they have an idea in their heads that I am going to follow in my pops footsteps and work at the same place. They are horribly mistaken. At this point I am just staring off in the distance trying not to listen as they ramble on and on about it. I’m a University graduate, I’m not going to be a janitor, I don’t care where it takes me. I gulp down the rest of my wine and clean off my plates and head upstairs. “Where are you going?” My dad calls from back within the kitchen. I ignore him and head upstairs.

I call up Jordan and we make plans to hang out tonight, so he arrives fairly quickly and I throw on a jacket and head out the door. My parents are hanging around the entrance inviting us to watch the hockey game with them, but we head out the door. Pitch black outside. The weather is getting colder, inside the car though you are given the sensation or the feeling of being safe, even though the only threat is just a bit of chilly winds. Jordan starts up some music on a CD. As we turned on the street exiting my little community of neighbours we started talking about murky memories from our high school period of life. Memories that were seemingly lost forever until by chance we started to think about them and help remind each other of what happened to the best of our knowledge and eye witness accounts. As we drove around the city, Jordan started driving into unknown parts of the city. Places that are not in our general path when we travel around. We pass by a church where we use to go to a Youth Group once a week after school. Fond memories there of people we no longer see.

After we drove around enough to satisfy that we have reached enough unknown areas of Oshawa, we picked up Pete. Who was surprised that we were waiting outside his house for him when we called. Five minutes later he joined the fray and hopped in the backseat. We started to drive towards Toronto on the West 401 in hopes that one of our friends would be available to hang out with. Jordan uses his cell along the way to call people, and after a couple calls and no one able to come out, we exit off in Pickering to head back to Oshawa. We think about driving to Waterloo to visit our friend Jay, but the drive back at night would be rough. I suggested Peterborough. “You love that town eh?” Jordan asks, even though he knows the answer. I look out the window to avoid his jackass grin. “Yeah, yeah I do.” I muffle.

We’re back in Oshawa, driving along the highway 2. We stop into a local Blockbuster to pick up a movie to rent. When we get in the store I automatically look at the used games section for some collector value finds. Nothing there. I join in the search for a movie. I look all along the walls at the movies and see nothing of real interest. I check the other wall and get upset at all the copies of Click! with Adam Sandler checked out. Not because I wanted to rent it. But because I see that movie advertised so much and it looks so stupid, I feel bad that people actually gave into the advertising and rented it. I wonder if it is actually good though, who knows. I see a couple of unknown movies, you know the deal, first gig actors, medieval setting or something. I love those types of movies. There is another one with Bruce Campbell called Alien Apocalypse. Oh man it looks really bad. “I hate those types of movies man.” Jordan says. Pete was in for watching it. No dice though. I take photos with my cell phone to remind me to get them later. We ended up renting 16 Blocks.

As we pass by the local Pizza Pizza I suggested we pop in. Pete is down, so Jordan turns on the next street to go around the block to pick some up. We waltz in and start barking orders at the girl. The pizza looks so old, bleh, not like the stuff you get in Peterborough. I get a small square of pepperoni and Pete gets a regular deluxe slice. “Man, I keep thinking about that night here after drinking.” Jordan says in low voice.
“Yeah that was funny, you out back laying down by the dumpsters puking while I ate pizza in here.” Laughing after I said it. “Oh man.” He replied.

Walking into Jordan’s house I noticed how big one of his cats is. Seems like just a short while ago that it was still a small kitten. Now it is nearly the size of a full grown cat. We head downstairs to the basement den and finish off our pizza. Jordan comes down with a big plate of nachos with sour cream and ground beef. We decide on watching the rest of the hockey game which is now into the third period of play. The Leafs won on a high note in overtime. We switched on the movie shortly after. I want to use the washroom so badly thirty minutes into it. I know if I do, then they will pause it, and then Jordan will try to get me back by scaring me on the way back to the den. There is a short hallway from the stairs to the den, and these curtains hang in between two walls. So one goes and hide behind these curtains and reach out to grab the person when they walk back towards the den. I suffer on the chair and watch the rest of the film. After flipping the channels a bit more we decided to drive around the city some more.

Before My Eyes (Part 2.)

I woke up. I am still groggy from staying up late again last night. It is just past noon and so I start my daily routine of going on the computer right away to check my inbox for job offers and newsletters, plus my usual blog reading and myspace.com time. My cellphone starts to ring and the vibration moves it closer to me. Private number. It’s Jordan.
“Hello?” I answer, trying my best to disguise the fact that I just woke up.
“Hey, what’s up? There is like massive flea market going on in Pickering man.”
“Serious, where?”
“Just west on Brock.”
“Yeah? Hmm.”
“Yeah you should try to get down here, selling vinyl records and everything. Anyways, just thought I’d give you a shout.”
“Yeah thanks man, talk to you later.”
I put down the cellphone back on my desk. Naw, I thought to myself, I would have to get changed, go downstairs, deal with the family. I just want to chill up here in my room. The phone rings again and it is Jordan again. This time to tell me that there is a Polaroid camera available for 10 bucks. As he described it, it bares a resemblance to a Polaroid camera I already own, but does not work. This one works.

I get changed and head downstairs and see that everyone is busy. My dad is washing the car, moms in the kitchen, and John is watching… something on TV, it looks kind of weird so I just head outside. My dad is leaning over a bucket that he just poured car washing soap + wax into. He squeezes the level inward on the nozzle on the hose to spray water inside. He had it at a high pressured stream as a setting so the soap shoots up and out of the bucket as the water hits the bottom of the bucket. He releases the grip, sets it to a fanned out spray instead and pours water in, submerging it when enough water fills up. Afterwards he looks up and gives me a sincere good morning. I guess I looked a little tired in the afternoon. In my defense I am battling off a cold. I tell him about the big flea market in Pickering and he seems interested. However, since it is no longer early in the day he figures there is no point in going. He’s probably right though, might close at anytime. He turns back to the car washing and sprays down his car. Afterwards he sprays some of the soap on the floor of the garage to run it down the driveway. Cruelly, he then attacks the anthills that lined the gap between the garage and the driveway. The homes to the little creatures are washed up and the wet sand spreads down the asphalt. I stood there starring at it happening, but no trace of animism idealism in my body compels me to say anything, because I’ve brought up with the belief that ants are bad around the house. I walk away and go back upstairs.

Kinda laying down on my bed and listening to music at the same time, I just rest there, getting up once in a while to blow my nose or to change the song on my music player. I keep changing to the same song though by Dallas Green of City and Colour.

A couple hours later I go back downstairs to see my dad cutting the grass. It is usually my job to do around the house because nobody else wants to do it. They didn’t ask me to this time because I have been sick. I don’t really want to do it either, but I would rather do it rather than my dad. I put on my new boots and head outside to take over. He did the small front lawn and is already tired so he welcomes me to take over. So I cut the back yard. Afterwards I brought the lawnmower out to the front and my dad wanted to cut a bit more and took it to the center of the court. Cut a straight line from the outside to the center, then want around cutting in a circle from the inside out. After three rotations he wanted me to take over, and so I got out from the lawn chair I was sitting on and finished the job. After I finished cutting I turned it off and put it back to rest underneath the back deck.

My dad looks at me as if to give me another gardening task “I want two things from you now, two vodkas, lime cordials, and club soda for you and I.” He said. “No problem.” I answered back and went inside to mix up a couple cocktails. I bring them outside and we sit underneath the big tree in our front yard. It is a green ash that is still kind of young for a tree. We kept the branches low so that when we sit underneath it, the leaves give us a sort of roof shelter from the sun. Of course one has to watch one branch when cutting the grass because it can bonk you on the head. My mom wants to cut it down, but my dad and I have been very resourceful with trickery and lies to prolong it’s demise. We say it’s too late in the year to prune, even thought we have no idea when is a good time to do so. We say that someone told us that it has to be done in the spring, when it could very well be done now. We hope by saying it, that she’ll forget about wanting it cut, and we can continue to sit underneath it.

I pull the brim of my hat down to my eyes and sip on my drink. I outstretch my legs to rest on the heels on the grass. Foxy, our dog, is laying down beside my lawn chair on a chain lease that pegs into the ground. Normally we’d just let her stay on the lawn without one, but with the increase of rabbits in the area, it’s not a good idea anymore. My eyes are drawn to the tree, small yellowed leaves fall when the wind picks up, and slowly hit the grass one by one. The sun is gone now and replaced by the graying clouds, the temperature has dropped. We sit there taking sips of our drink and not saying anything to one another. For no reason other than to enjoy the silence and to watch the leaves fall to the ground.

music to accompany the blog: City And Colour – Missing.

Before My Eyes.

Not sure why, but I started to write this over at my myspace.com blog and it was really really long. Long enough to be an entry here. I don't really want to post stories here anymore, but I wanted to post this one anyways. So I hope you enjoy it, and happy Thanksgiving.

Nelson calls me up after I finished eating Thanksgiving dinner with my family. He wants to hang out and go to a show with me and Pete. I say sure and tell him to come over to hang out and have some dessert that was leftover. They arrive and eat their fair share of pie with ice cream. Nelson makes some obscene comment which luckily my parents did not catch on to. I must have given him a wide eyed look.

We get in his car, a black Sunfire, and drive off in the night to the movie theatre. We get to King Street and we have to decide whether we want to go to AMC in Whitby, or the Cineplex in Clarington. One is great to sit in and expensive. The other is really cheap and bad seating and sound. We choose the cheaper option and turn right.

The drive is fairly long and the street is not lit at all by any street lights. Instead we have to rely on the lighting provided by the cars passing by us and our own headlights. We're quiet in the car, not even the radio is on, laughing about this and that. While stopped at a red light talking about girls, Nelson thrusts his pelvis in his seat shaking the whole car. Pete squirms and hides his face from the onlookers from the cars beside us.

We get to the show pretty early and buy tickets to see The Departed. So while we wait for the show time to start we play some arcade games. Pete and I played a couple games with the light guns because nobody wanted to embarrass themselves with DDR with me. After that we went in and watched the movie. It kind of sucks watching a movie with a bunch of strangers sometimes. There are always people to annoy you when you want to hear what's going on. A cell phone went off during the movie. People were laughing at events in the movie. I don't know, I guess it depends on the movie. I had a blast watching Jackass 2 with a whole audience because everyone was laughing.

We left the theatre and walked down the parking lot to Nelson's car after the movie was over. Nelson lights up a dart and looks at a car closely parked to his. "I think he hit me man, look how close he is." Nelson said.
I inspect the bumper. "Nelson, if he hit you, he wouldn't have parked here." Pete and I start laughing. Nelson takes a drag of his cigarette.

Trying to figure out what to do, we decide on going to a bar and then hanging out at Jordans house. We stop at the local bar near my place but I didn’t really want to go in. “Man, we can just have a beer at my house, this place is kind of sketch. If we go to a bar, let’s go to the Tartan or something where it’s popular.” We don’t go to a bar and then just went to Jordan’s house. We phone up Jordan on the cell to tell him to meet us by the back door. Nelson undoes Jordan’s gate and we walk to the back door. It opens and Jordan stands before us from the inside. None of us say a word and we glance back and forth at one another. For whatever reason it was kinda funny so we all laughed. Except for Nelson, who was taking drags from another cigarette. Jordan didn’t want to go to a bar either, and so Nelson just walked to his car. We all agreed to go out for coffee though.

Driving back to the direction of my house and check out the local Williams coffee pub. It has a great atmosphere for hanging out; it’s sort of dim lit, wood-like flooring and décor, and some pretty glass windows all around to see the city streets. Though this night it was closed, we missed it by a half an hour or so. Instead we had to settle for Tim Hortons, which has an atmosphere of get in and get out.

We walked in and Jordan was the first to order and sit down. Before I order I look over at Jordan sitting by himself at the table. He smirks back with his jackass look like always and we both start laughing. Pete is confused as to what is going on. A couple of girls are sitting adjacent to us with large textbooks spread open and pads of notepaper at pen’s reach. I get my coffee and donut and sit down. Pete and Nelson join too.

Our conversations were normal as always, saying jokes to one another, and reminiscing about the old times. It’s moments like this that you can appreciate about life, and not remembering a thing you said to one another. We left for outside because Nelson wanted to light up another dart. Outside we stood on the sidewalk and shuffled our feet. Jordan and I got a good laugh talking about a trip to an old furniture auction house we did with his dad, and at the same time we both pictured the same scenery of the forestry that lined the road.

When we got back into Nelson’s car I opted out and wanted to get dropped off at home. I said goodbyes and went up to my room to chat online for a bit longer. For whatever reason I still was feeling a little sick so I went downstairs to get a Tylenol cold pill before going to sleep.

Laying in my bed I closed my eyes and listened to the hum of my computer still running beside me. My life played before me as I lay there. Starting from when I was a little boy to about grade 9. It was stream of conscious, in the sense that I wasn’t trying to remember anything. It was comforting in a way to remember all those events in my life, yet there was so much that I didn’t remember at the same time. Thinking back on it now, flashes of my childhood; things I wouldn’t normally remember appear my head. It is definitely a weird feeling to remember such things after all the time that has past since then.

I shrugged it off and feel asleep though.

Dates, dates, dates.

I am a little shakey on dates, and I wanted to change up my style of writing for the book. I thought about doing a date format so that it seems like a journal. I didn't like assuming dates for events. I know that I did the things I am writing about, but I don't like assigning abbitary dates to these events. I figure as long as I know the month, then that's ok. I guess on occasion then the date will matter. Instead I added the style to this blog and everytime the day changes or what not I assign a quirky title to the story. I think that attribute is common among bloggers and I think it is a neat feature to put into a book. I assigned one to the last exerpt posted on here, and I also edited it around, because I remembered more stuff about moving in, and I added in more descriptions that I thought were necessary. I probably will be doing editing constantly so keep in mind what is posted here will probably be edited later. So anyways the following exerpt today is from my book, which has now reached around 3000 words, called "To those who dare." Enjoy.

Her name is Tanya. I picked her up on the front of some old mans lawn in Oshawa. $25 bucks. Not that bad of a deal. Until I found out the brakes don't work as well as I thought. Tanya is my bicycle, I wanted to get a bike that I wouldn't care about if it got stolen, something I can use to ride around Peterborough with. It is a woman's speed bike, a Vulcan, painted yellow, it has metal switches that do the gears, and black electrical tape is lined the handle bars. Small white letter stickers spell out TANYA vertically down the part that connects to the seat. Robs bicycle was from the sixties or seventies and it is a womans bike as well, with huge handle bars that sprout up and then curve down, a banana seat, and he spray painted it all gold. It is so low to the ground with small wheels, it is amazing that he can actually ride the thing.

We rode off towards the retail district of town on Lansdowne Street with out bikes. I uncomfortably tried to manage with the speed bike handlebars which brought my hands close together on the bar. The loose steering and barely working brakes gave me a lot trouble. It was a hot September day today, so we were both in just shorts and t-shirts, with our backpacks on. The mall was the first destination and after biking a fair distance we got to the entrance and locked up our rides.

The mall was fairly small, but then again, this was a fairly small city. We stopped in the usual places like the gaming store, sporting goods store, and music store. Our last stop was West 49, which is sort of a retail chain of skater clothes and such. I mentioned to Rob last night that I needed some new shoes, and he told me I should get some skate shoes because they fit my style. I wanted him to come along to make sure I wasn't buying something stupid, because he had more knowledge than me on the stuff. After trying on nearly every shoe I settled on a pair of Globes, they were brown and white, really nice design, and the fit great. I went outside the store and put them on right away and put my old shoes in the box and in my backpack.
“Ok this is how you wear them man, you put the laces underneath the tongue... yeah tie it up like you would normally, but tuck it under.” He told me.
I tried to follow his instructions as best as I could, but he just took the shoes from me and showed me. I slipped them on. Tight! I got up and we looked around some more before heading back on the bikes. Our next destination would be the downtown core.

As we rode back the opposite way along Lansdowne Street we ran out of sidewalk and were riding dangerously close to an edge of fall off on this bare dirty path formed from other cyclists. Street lamps lined along the side of the road so when the path was curved around it became even more dangerous to ride on, and with the cars zooming past you on the side of the road it really made it hard to concentrate on staying on the path. It didn't help with my bikes handling being so bad and no brakes. Dodging one Street lamp nearly made me lose control and fall down. My heart sank as I corrected my steering at the last second. Better ride slower I thought to myself. Rob was having no trouble and he got a laugh at the end of the path after I told him my near death experience.

We continued through some side streets and eventually came to Hunter Street which would lead us right into downtown Peterborough. Peterborough, Ontario, Canada. I never really knew the city all that well until my third year and then more so in my fourth year of University. Now that I am in my fifth year I know the city perfectly, where to eat, where to shop, where to take girls on a date, and other lesser important stuff. Like the fastest way to get the hell out.

It looked like they were doing some work on the sidewalks on the street, I ventured over despite the vague warnings of the adjacent pylons and rode my bike on the sidewalk. I looked up ahead and noticed that there was a huge gap between the slaps of concrete. With practically no control on the handlebars and no brakes I freaked out and tried to swerve off. I fell into the gap and then crashed into a pylon that was near a chain-linked fence. I didn't fall off my bike, but I got knocked off my seat and cut up my leg a little bit. One of the construction workers looked over at me with a puzzling look. “Take it easy there buddy.” He said to me. I just laughed and acknowledged his recommendations.

There was a bike lockup spot near the Peterborough Square at the heart of downtown on the corner of Charlotte and George. We locked out bikes together and walked around. It was the “usual round” as we called it. To visit the used gaming stores like Chumleighs, Cottage Toys for clothing, and then Bluestreak to look at vinyl records and CDs. Jimmy Chumleigh, the puppeteer among other things, runs the best used gaming store in town. There are other goods like movies, books, and music as well. He is such an oddball character with his head shaved bald with a huge goatee which is sometimes dyed blue. I always make sure to have a chat with him because he has the best stories, some about being involved in the WWE pro wrestling, and others about fishing. When you talk to him he always asks for your e-mail address to write down on the back of a notebook. I jotted mine down after talking to him for a while. I picked up a PS1 game and then we headed out.

Bluestreak was a small hole in the wall with posters of musicians all around the store. Where there weren't posters, there were CDs. Hundreds. All in little slots along the wall, some so high that it would require a ladder to reach up to grab them. In small bins were the vinyl records. There is a section for new records and everywhere else had used records sorted by artist name. I also like to talk to the shop keep as well. He DJs around town sometimes and he has some of the best records and talent for selecting music. I make sure to find out where he is spinning records. He wasn't around today though.

It is really hot in the day now, the sun is blindingly bright out. So after walking around the downtown busy with people walking everywhere as usual, we went into McDonald's to grab some food to take back home with us.

I sat down in the living room to eat my burger. Scott, my other roommate, and Cedric were watching some NFL football on the TV. Scott is a big guy as well like Cedric, and athletic. Really competitive by nature. Things were settling in nicely at our place, we had furniture all arranged and our food and dishes was slowly being sorted and put away in cupboards.

After the game I went back up to my room to relax for the rest of the day and put more of my stuff away in dressers. I really wish I had the new desk right now and was tempted to just go pick one up myself so that I can set up my computer. Rob decided to just buy my old one seeing that he tons of room upstairs. I gave it to him for $50 dollars, even though it cost me a hundred and a half. I just wanted to get rid of it. To be honest I was glad to see it go. I bought it for my fourth year of University and although it was great to have for that year, it was such a pain to transport that I got frustrated with using a small Allen key to put in all the small individual screws. Must be like a hundred of them to put into place. I watched the sun go down in my room on my computer chair, and like last night, hung out in the loft with Rob and whoever else showed up. It would seem like this would be the place we all would collect as a house, usually over the years it would be my room, but since I have the smallest room it wouldn't be the case this year. I welcome the change though.